


enjoy the silence

by ElasticElla



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Asexual Character, Fanfiction, M/M, Post-Season/Series 01, mentioned clary/maureen & past maureen/simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 07:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6744628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon already has the link open in a new tab, and while he knows it's just a matter of time before he clicks over, he waits a minute. As if his mind might suddenly change, as if common sense will override curiosity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	enjoy the silence

**Author's Note:**

> title from the depeche mode song  
> and set in a canon future where simon&maureen's band takes off yay

Simon already has the link open in a new tab, and while he knows it's just a matter of time before he clicks over, he waits a minute. As if his mind might suddenly change, as if common sense will override curiosity. The latest interviewer had playfully asked if he knew about all of the crossover fanfic written about him, and thankfully Maureen had intercepted that question because Simon's brain is still reeling days later.

It wasn't that fanfiction was new to him, him and Clary had written some fun ridiculous things- mostly Harry Potter inspired- when they were younger, and Maureen still wrote, occasionally asking him to look over a story. And while Simon knew rpf existed in some dark corner of the internet that he stayed away from, he had no idea their two-person band was big enough to have its own content. Or crossover content, whatever.

Maybe there isn't that much fanfic though, they've only been a real band- or playing in front of people that pay for tickets- for like a year. And after all of the Valentine and the vampire stuff, it wasn't like they were touring all the time or making lots of youtube videos like they used to. And with that thought in mind, that it couldn't be _that_ much, Simon clicks on the other tab.

There are over a thousand works. 1,429 to be precise.

Barely a hundred include Maureen, which besides making him feel creepy for wanting more of her is fucking _weird_. The best thing that came out of their one-night stand was a song about strained friendships, and it wasn't a secret that it was about them- yet there are only _eight_ fics with them together. Most of Maureen's stuff is all as being in background Clary/Maureen relationship, which while actually real there's still only twenty fics focused on them alone. (And one of them has tentacles and _nope_ Simon is not crossing that line.)

The problem with being a vampire is that all Simon has is time and he doesn't need to sleep as often. When he's not dealing with vampire politics, or writing songs with Maureen, or sipping blood and pretending it's tomato juice, Simon ends up reading the fanfic… about himself.

It's beyond narcissistic, especially the explicit stuff. But it's also really validating- well some of it- and as a vampire, Simon feels more entitled to get in touch with his narcissistic tendencies. There's also this really popular trend of writing him as a werewolf, and Simon probably finds that way more amusing than it actually is. And if when he's jacking off he ends up thinking about the singer from that other band that he's never even met but somehow ends up in all the _really_ hot fics with him… well, he already agreed to the narcissism, he mine as well reap the fullest benefits.

On day five he discovers there are three fics with him and Raphael. It isn't exactly surprising, back when he had just turned Raphael shadowed him wherever their band preformed to make sure he didn't attack anyone. They're all smut, and Simon _knows_ they aren't really written about him and Raphael- or even slightly realistic versions of themselves- but it still irks him.

The irritation doesn't fade, and only late one night, just before dawn, can Simon admit to himself that it's because it isn't how it would go. There wouldn't be sex, or dramatic declarations of love on stage- it'd be sipping blood together on the roof and convincing Raphael to break into an amusement park at night, to ride all the roller-coasters over and over. To steal the biggest and fluffiest stuffed animal that could double as a chair and ram into each other with bumper cars. 

The other fics are wrong and fiction and it's whatever. But this stuff, the stuff about him and Raphael, this is _wrong_ and Simon wants to fix it.

For the next week he keeps himself away from his keyboard.

.

The self-imposed exile doesn't last past a few blood and vodkas, and Simon finds himself typing away, inhibitions dropped. He supposes it's a small victory that he isn't writing about Clary and Maureen's disaster of a first date. (Maureen would probably find out and retaliate by publishing far better blackmail.) 

_The Definitely Not Pornographic Adventures of Raphael & Simon_

_~~I would have to~~ Simon would make the first move. He's been admiring his ~~coven leader~~ pack alpha ~~wants to~~ ~~needs to~~ would like to go on a date with him. Not a double date like Maureen has been ~~teasing~~ suggesting, and definitely not some elaborate seduction that Clary was sure Izzy would be ~~disturbingly thrilled~~ happy to help with. _

_He wants something that adds a softness to everything, not a reminder of his past humanity but ~~a mark of what could be~~_

_~~I just~~ He wants and wants and_

… _I could fall in love with him._

“I had no idea you felt that way,” Raphael says suddenly behind him, and Simon jumps, banging his knees on the desk and spinning around.

“Oh my go- _fuck!_ I'm not- you could warn a guy, you surprised me. I'm sorry you weren't supposed to be there or uh, ever read that. It's not going to happen, I mean not that I'm against it, I wouldn't mind- you're a handsome guy. I'm not going to finish writing that, in fact I'll be deleting it. And it's not that your looks are all I see in you, I mean you're obviously-”

“Simon?” Raphael interrupts.

Simon gulps, “Yeah?”

“For the love of god, please shut up.”

Raphael closes his eyes, and Simon can feel his anxiety building, knows he won't be able to do that for much longer.

“How mad are you? Like on a scale from you ruined another jacket to you need to find a new hotel, well vampire clan, to live with-”

“Dios,” Raphael mutters, pulling Simon up by his hoodie, and suddenly lips are on his, blocking his thoughts and words.

Simon's mind has never felt so empty, an endless simple litany of: _he's kissing you, he's kissing you, he's-_

And then it's over, and Simon's breathing hard which almost makes him laugh because it's not like he needed to do that anymore. But it's easier than processing the smudge of wetness on Raphael's lower lip that's probably _his_ saliva and fucking hell-

“Wonderful,” Raphael says and Simon only has a second to be pleased before he adds on, “I finally have a way to quiet you.”

“Hey, that's-”

And Simon should have expected the second kiss, he really should have. But he's more happy surprised than _holy shit Raphael's kissing me_ surprised, and this time he has the mind to kiss back, to slide his hands up Raphael's back.

This time they don't break for unnecessary breaths.

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> [follow for more plot bunnies pulled from hats](http://parkwest.tumblr.com/)


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